I have lost control?

I was driving to my pastor’s house for a birthday dinner. Something just crossed my mind, there’s no income coming in from now on. At that very moment, I felt like I’ve lost control of myself. What have I done? Things I’ve used to say about identity long time ago suddenly back fired at me.

‘Does the job that I am doing define who I am?’

‘Will I still have my identity if I loose my job?’

I let money defines the power I have. No doubt, money plays an important role in many things that we do. Question I am asking myself is whether it is powerful enough to control me?

A pastor once said, ‘You can have money, in fact; you can have lots of money. Be careful not to let money have you.’

Then a Bible passage came to me:-

Psalm 121
A song of ascents.
1 I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
2 My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

3 He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

4 indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

5 The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

6 the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

7 The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

8 the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

Then I felt at ease, I’ve chosen to do mission; I will learn to trust in Him. It is suppose to be a journey of faith. If I can see everything, it will not be faith anymore. Yes, there are practical things that I will have to do to raise support for my mission trip. At the end of the day, it comes down to trusting Him.