2 - months

It has been 2 months since my mother went home. Things are getting back to "normal". A friend asked me how am I doing since mum has gone? I don't really know, sometimes I still think I can go back and visit her in Adelaide. I did not try hard not to think about she has gone, nor that I've tried to think of her too much.

As Christmas approaching, the memories of mum come back. I remember everyone will try to be where mum was whether be in Melbourne or Adelaide. Where everyone would just enjoy mum's cooking and each other's company. Since she had the stroke, she was bound to her bed, we made every effect to go back to Adelaide to celebrate Christmas with her. There are times when we took turn to see her at different weeks, so that she did not get overwhelmed by all of us at one time, and next week no one was there for her.

This Christmas is going to be different without mum, something for the family to get used to.

You nourish our hearts in our yearning,
You dignify our souls in our struggles

You harmonise our grief and gladness

You make melody from fragments of chaos

You align our spirit with creation

You reveal to us the grace of God

You calm us and delight us and set us free to love and forgive

Our lives are richer because of who you are

Farewell DC!

I've received an email from Aus found out that my pastor David Collins has passed away and went to be with the Lord. He has been battling with cancer since end of last year. He has been very dear to our congregation, Twilight, and we have been praying for him faithfully. DC is no longer suffering with the pain. I remember early this year when he posted a song by MercyMe, I Can Only Imagine, on his blog. This song was written by the lead singer of the band to commemorate the passing of his father. What would his father do when he sees Jesus. One can only imagine. Right now, DC needs no imagination anymore.

It's hard for me to deal with 2 deaths since I've got here in Carlisle. But like I said it before, I will say it again, it is by the Grace of God that I can stand here and declare that God is good and still is.

One month since ....

It has been one month since my mother passed away. Time moved so quickly for me this month. ON office has moved to a new location, I moved out from the wrist's and moved into curries Road. I've decided to make Elim Community Church the church that I go to in Carlisle, joint a cell group, will be joining the worship team once I get the approval from the senior minister. Everything is still new to me. Seeing new things every week, learning new things every week. Honestly I don't want to settle comfortably and if I do I will be chatting into the comfort zone. I want to be living on the edge.

As I reflect how I got here in Carlisle, it has not been an easy journey. Somehow God allowed these incidents to happen for a purpose. Now, it sounded cliche and religious but what else can I say? Knowing that '... all things God works for the good of those who love him,who have been called according to his purpose.'

Now, let see,

I love HIM, I can only love God the way I know I can and continue to learn to love Him more.

I have been called for His purpose, everyone has and is.

So "ALL things"? Including some obstacles that were placed during my preparation? The nasty things said by someone? YES ... All things! They are for the good for me? The passing away of my mother is a good thing for her as she is no longer suffering in her imperfect body, that I understand but what about the rest?

I know this verse in my head, I guess I will only understand this somewhere in the future.

GOD is so BIG, I am so small. I cannot grasp all these things at the moment but somehow He will show it to me a right time. Right now, I just have to take it by faith and by His grace I will accept it.

"So help me God, to put my faith in You."

p/s, I am going to put a tribute to my mother on the blog, just give me sometime, when I am ready.

Walkers Marmite

Walkers is a snack food company like the one in Australia, Smiths, known for their potato chips and variety of flavors. Then there's Marmite and Vegemite. The black stuff that "everyone" like. One day when I was shopping here (Carlisle) in the supermarket, my flat-mate showed me the chips with Marmite flavor. Yes ... The UK Vegemite chips, I mean Marmite Chips. Too good to be true? Yes ... Check this out.

I bought the 6 pack home to try it out. Believe me it knocked my socks off. Wonder if they would make them available in Australia? Chips with an Aussie twist.

Speaking of Vegemite, U.S. has halt the import of Vegemite.

Hopefully, by the time I come back to Melbourne, I will get to see Smiths Vegemite Chips.

Poundland,Carlisle

Before I came to Carlisle, I thought this city will be something like a Tintinara. Where is Tintinara? I am here to talk about Carlisle, go look it up in the internet. To my surprise, it is bigger than Tintin. It's more like Ballarat or Geelong for those who came from Melbourne. For those who are not, go look it up in Google. This is a city in the county of Cumbria in UK. It's a city with a lots of history. Carlisle used to be a Roman station in 875AD.

The city has got one MacDonald Restaurant, one KFC and too many, really way too many mobile phone shops. I was told KFC just came in not too long ago. And apparently, it's one of the favorite restaurants in town. So I thought I checked it out. I could not believe that the waiting time is 20 mins. There's a queue at the door. You're kidding me? Oh, come on!

There's a what we called in Australia the $2 dollar shop. Right here in Carlisle, you have the Pound Land. Everything here is 1 pound. Yes, that's right, 1 pound. Very cheap, in fact I actually bought an umbrella here. So far, it is still working well. When I walked out from the shop with the umbrella and I walked past next door, the shop was selling it for 99p. DOPE! ... Just kidding it was selling for more than 3 pounds or something. I also bought my coat hangers there for 1 pound. I don't think I need a Prada coat hanger, so they are just fine. This is suppose to be an easy job for the shop assistant at the check out centre. But they still scan the merchandise, why border? Everything is 1 pound. What's else is in the shop? Things that you would expect to see in a 2 dollar shop. Not sure, what else I am going to get from Poundland. One thing for sure, there's no Prada, Chanel or Armani.

Aira Force, Lake District

Okay, from Matterdale the Hebron families went to the Tea Room for afternoon tea. We the OMers chose the cheaper alternative, we went to Aira Force. We parked our car in the next free parking area and walked to the Aira Force. This is not the "May the force be with you" kind of force if you are wondering. It is a waterfall. The place was owned by a rich guy in 1780's as a hunting lodge and planted a lot of native plants. The walk in the park was totally different experience from the Matterdale one. It was like walking in the woods that was described in some books. It was equally beautiful. Some of the plants are very unique, here are just a few of them.

What does this look like to you? ->

Face of an old lady? Go Figure.

<- In order to survive you need to stretch a bit. As a result of that, it gives you a bit of character - persistent, patient, perserverance. If you are under a bit of stress, hang in there.

Matterdale, Lake District

The weekend just past, I was invited by one of the OMers, Timotheous who attends the Hebron church here in Carlisle for a family hike around Lake District. I have not been exercising for the past few weeks, I figured out it would be a good start for me in this city.

Matterdale is located in Lake District 30 minutes away from Carlisle. The track was an easy one since it was a family walk, it should not be difficult for the kids. Friends you see on the picture are Christian and Daniela K and Timotheous P. They are from the OM office, Chris and Dnaiela are from Austria and Timo is from Germany.

The country side is just so beautiful and it's green all over. The weather on that day was perfect, not too cold, may be it was because we were constantly moving and had warmed up.

The houses along the walk still retained their original state when they were first built. It was just beautiful. We stopped over at a few places, one of them was the Matterdale church. This church was built in the 1573, that's what they told me. It was just amazing. Inside the church building, there's no electricity and therefore the candles were used for meetings at night. Must be interesting to meet under the illumination of the candle light. As I walked through the door, there are some new song books. Someone told me that there are still people who meet here on a regular basis. The door of this church is never locked to allow people to visit. To visit a historic building like this always makes you feel surreal. You think you probably in the movie, Braveheart. I am so glad that this part of the history is kept and maintained so that the future generation will appreciate more of their heritage. As Australia is a very young nation, there's not such building of this age.

The walk/hike took about 2 to 3 hours walk. The scenery was just spectacular as oneof the friends told me that it has one of the most beautiful countryside in England. You would probably start asking question about wehre is the Lake? I asked them as well. The lake is acutally at the side or behind the hills. We did not get to see it because the track did not lead us to the lake. I enjoyed the walk very much as much as I enjoyed the scenery.

Broad St, Carlisle

I am currently staying with an American family serving with OM here in the student ministry, Tim and Linda Wright and their 2 kids. The house is about 10 mins walk from the current OM office. OM will move into a new place in November. The house where the Wrights are staying is a typical English town house, beautifully located on Broad St. As you can see, the street is not that broad, only one car can go through. The street signs on this part of the town, is quite hard to see. Most of them are on the actual building at the corners of the streets. Some of them actually faded away. How to get around in this part of the town in Carlisle? Oh well ... You adjust.

I will stay in this beautiful town house for couple of weeks before OM finds a more permanent accommodation closer to the newer office.

In Carlisle

After more than 28.5 hours of traveling, I finally arrived at Carlisle. I did not get my luggage, I've missed the train and there's nobody to pick me up at the train station. Jet lagged and tired, I managed to called the personnel manager, Torlief, apparently I've got the time mixed up and gave him the wrong information. But that's okay. He's willing to put me up for one night before I get to stay with the my host family for a couple of weeks. The place whom Torlief stays is beautiful, it looks like a castle. This place was made available by the Cathedral in Carlisle to OMers. Torlief's family wife and 2 teen-age kids stay in this very unique house.

The house is walking distance from OM office. It's very close, it takes about 5 minutes walk. The house was built for minister who works in the Cathedral and has some history.

主我跟你走

主我跟你走
Music and Lyrics: 游智婷 Sandy Yu

主你跟我走，往普天下走，
天涯海角緊緊抓住我。
主我跟你走，往普天下走，
死蔭幽谷緊緊跟你走。

因你是萬王之王，萬主之主，
有你跟著我，我讓怕什麼？
因你已戰勝死亡，得勝君王，
這信心的路我永不回頭。

開啟我眼，信心的雙眼，
看那天使天軍在身邊。
塑造我的心，謙卑地聆聽，
你的話語深植我心。

Last days in Melbourne

"When are you leaving?"
"Are you all packed?"
"What's going to happen to your house?"

Here are some of the few questions that were asked by my friends. Yes, I am leaving Melbourne for UK. One of the goals I aim to do this year. The trip to China to see my father's house, and mission work with OM.

My feelings at the moment are quite mixed. I am going into something so big for me to describe. It's very much like riding a 100M wave in context of surfing. Not only your heart rate goes up, but your adrenaline is pumping like a V8 engine.

It is like the moment before you set your foot off the platform of bungee jumping. That moment, the only thing you can feel your blood rushing through your whole body. You hear beat is so loud, it almost like a rock concert. You could no longer hear your friends cheering you on to take the step for the fall.

Everything is silent.

Everything slows down.

The noise that you hear is slowed down and becoming blurry.

You know all the safety harness are intact, everything is ready. You just need to take one step in front of the platform. One step into the unknown.

One step, that step.

Heart Of Worship

Lately I have been thinking about worship. I was reading a book about how many churches have moved away from the Biblical truth. If you are interested, please check out 'This little church went to market' by Gary Gilley.

I just want to talk about worship here.

The Bible says in John 4:23
Yet a time is coming and has now come when the true worshipers will worship the Father in spirit and truth, for they are the kind of worshipers the Father seeks.

Sometimes, I questioned myself whether I am doing what the bible says when I worship God.
A lot of the time when I hear people say 'The worship was so good!.' I wonder what it means. Why? Did the person actually say the music was good? Or the atmosphere was good? Or I feel good in the worship.

After serving many years in the music ministry, I want to ask a few questions.
1. Are we worshiping God or worshiping music?
2. Do we have to feel good during the worship session?
3. How do you feel the presence of God in worship? Why do I have to feel the presence of God?
Why is it all about ME feeling the presence of God?
4. Is worship session a therapeutic session for me? (Be honest)!

I think you'll probably starting to get what I'm trying to say...
It's not about me, but all about Him.
Our worship should be God focused, we all know that. Sometimes, we really need to honestly ask ourself when we worship, who is the centre of the focus when the phrase like "meeting our needs" come into picture. Since when do we need the worship (music) to meet our needs?

Unless we go back to God focused worship, we will never be the true worshipers that the Father seeks. Notice that I did not say we never experience what true worship is.

I wonder why when Jesus said, "Yet a time is coming and has now come ...", in the verse.

Kiasu again?

On the topic of 'Kiasu' again, I was reminded about a Bible passage, Mark 9:33-35.

33They came to Capernaum. When he was in the house, he asked them, "What were you arguing about on the road?" 34But they kept quiet because on the way they had argued about who was the greatest.
35Sitting down, Jesus called the Twelve and said, "If anyone wants to be first, he must be the very last, and the servant of all."

Why do we always want to be first? Can't we just be a servant?

Another passage, Mark 10:35-45
The Request of James and John

35Then James and John, the sons of Zebedee, came to him. "Teacher," they said, "we want you to do for us whatever we ask."
36"What do you want me to do for you?" he asked.
37They replied, "Let one of us sit at your right and the other at your left in your glory."
38"You don't know what you are asking," Jesus said. "Can you drink the cup I drink or be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with?"
39"We can," they answered. Jesus said to them, "You will drink the cup I drink and be baptized with the baptism I am baptized with, 40but to sit at my right or left is not for me to grant. These places belong to those for whom they have been prepared."
41When the ten heard about this, they became indignant with James and John. 42Jesus called them together and said, "You know that those who are regarded as rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them. 43Not so with you. Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, 44and whoever wants to be first must be slave of all. 45For even the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many."

So, any thoughts?

Kiasu

I am sure some of you may heard of the Asian slang, "Kiasu". Wikipedia describes it as "fear of losing". It is a social attitude in a very competitive world that we're living now. Someone said that competitiveness brings out the best of us. I tend to disagree with the person who said that. The person may have the spirit of "Kiasu". I don't think competition can bring the best out of us because we are always afraid of someone who will be better than us. You don't always win when you try your best. And when you actually win, it doesn't mean that you've given your best.

We strike for excellent not to win but to do our best. Is wining that important? May be in sports event. Yes, in that context winning is important, but it must come with sportsmanship and integrity, otherwise the victory is without hounour.

The Bible speaks about being faithful servant and how to use our talents.

Matthew 25:14-30

The Parable of the Talents

14"Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his property to them. 15To one he gave five talents[a] of money, to another two talents, and to another one talent, each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16The man who had received the five talents went at once and put his money to work and gained five more. 17So also, the one with the two talents gained two more. 18But the man who had received the one talent went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master's money.
19"After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20The man who had received the five talents brought the other five. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with five talents. See, I have gained five more.'
21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
22"The man with the two talents also came. 'Master,' he said, 'you entrusted me with two talents; see, I have gained two more.'
23"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'
24"Then the man who had received the one talent came. 'Master,' he said, 'I knew that you are a hard man, harvesting where you have not sown and gathering where you have not scattered seed. 25So I was afraid and went out and hid your talent in the ground. See, here is what belongs to you.'
26"His master replied, 'You wicked, lazy servant! So you knew that I harvest where I have not sown and gather where I have not scattered seed? 27Well then, you should have put my money on deposit with the bankers, so that when I returned I would have received it back with interest.
28" 'Take the talent from him and give it to the one who has the ten talents. 29For everyone who has will be given more, and he will have an abundance. Whoever does not have, even what he has will be taken from him. 30And throw that worthless servant outside, into the darkness, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth.'

Imagine these servants have the "kiasu" attitude, what will happen? I always believe in being faithful doing the things that you've given and do it to your best ability. This is what pleases God rather than achieving something great with the "Kiasu" spirit.

Limited Edition

I was a big fan of Limited Edition, I am still one. Few years ago, I bought my first limited edition print of a local Melbourne artist: Garry McEwan's On Brunswick St. It was an edition of 250. It means that their are only 250 prints available. I love the vibrant colour of the piece. The tram on the print was another reason that caught my attention at that time. I paid just under AUD 500 (including the frame). Now the print can easily costs over AUD 1.5K. I was very happy when I found out that the print that I bought has gone up in price.

Then I went a bought another of Mr McEwan's limited edition print, Flower Love. That print caused a bit of controversy amongst my mates. I think it was a piece that will contrast the other one, yet balance my living room. This one is yet to go up in price.

The phrase 'Limited edition' was almost exclusive to the arts community. It was not until DVD became popular in Australia. You have Special Limited Edition, Director's Cut Edition, the Ultimate Collector's Edition & "you name it, we'll produce it " Edition. Wait, there's more; some DVDs also come with certificate of authentication. I think the word "Limited" no longer holds any meaning to many movie studios or DVD producers. It becomes a marketing tool targeting consumer like me to spend more money to pay for their CEOs to have dinner at a 5 star hotels discussing the next money making project.

I bought a Special Limited Edition of Walt Disney's Beauty and the Beast. One year later that same edition of DVD can be found in the bargain box in K-Mart. Price did not go up, but gone down to bargain price. How many "Limited" copies did studio print?

Can I still remain positive and not be cynical about Limited Edition again?

Speechless

It was a great concert. Despite a small crowd, we've collected some generous amount of donation towards my mission work from the audience. I am very grateful.

I shared in the Cantonese Congregation the day after the concert, the church was very generous and supportive. I am so grateful for the people for being so supportive. Ivan came to speak to me after the meeting and told me about how Doulos made an impact in his life few years back when the ship stopped over in Melbourne. He was interested in the ministry of Doulos. I thought I was here to raised support, I did not know I've actually encouraged people to consider mission.

The shop owner whom I bought my oolong tea from also supported me with a generous cheque. She also asked me to contact her if I need more support. Speechless? YES!

Stay tuned for pictures taken from PULSE.

DRUB

I went to Bennetts Lane Jazz Club with my friends one night, it was a weeknight therefore I did not expect too many people there. To my surprise the place was packed with people, the band - DRUB, must be good to attract such an audience during a week night.

The saxophonist started a piercing note, I thought he was doing a sound check and it turned out to be part of the song, well ... Tune ... Err ... Sound? ... Noise. I could not make anything out of it. All I could hear was some random notes coming out of these musicians. There was no difference from one "song" to another when random notes are played. Having said that individually, each musician is excellent.

D who's a music student and said politely that the musicians might be following a motif and improvise around it. I could not make any sense out of it. Then why was the place packed with people to listen to their music? Did they really get something out of the music?

The experience got me thinking about the story called 'The emperor's New Clothes'. Was everyone in the club really appreciate the music played by the group on the stage because they did not want to be classified as "stupid"?

J also made a comment it was like watching a foreign art house movie without subtitles in the musical context. You suppose to work it out.

Oh well ... Again this could be alternative Jazz.

Go figure.

We sat through the whole gig just to show a bit of respect to the musicians. But I want my money back!!!!

Pulse!!!

It has been decided that the theme for the fund raising concert is going to be called "PULSE!!!". The idea came from a CD called, "Psalm Drummers". All the tracks on the CD is just drumming. Awesome album, on the DVD the lead drummers ask the audience to listen to the heartbeat of God.

I am so grateful because every mission whom I approached has agreed to help. As mid September is approaching, I just have to trust God to provide the necessary support for my mission trip.

Getting back to the concert, I believe the people who come are in for a real treat of music performance.

How Great

I received a card in the post box telling there's a package to be picked up in Mulgrage yesterday. I knew it was my visa. In my logical mind, I worked out that there wasn't any phone call from the British High commission about my application and I was not expecting any other delivery except my passport. True enough, when I picked up the package, it was my passport opened to the page where the Visa is. As I was writing this blog, my iTunes is playing the song 'How Great is God', yes How great and wonderful is He?

I am yet to learn about trusting Him more and more. Thank You, Father. You are truly Great.

It's finally here

I've received an email from Brent telling me that the brochures are ready. It took 2 months to get it done and finally I've got something to show people when I talk to them about my mission work. The next challenge for me is to raise enough support within 6 weeks. My logical mind is battling with my little faith.

20He replied, "Because you have so little faith. I tell you the truth, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, 'Move from here to there' and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you."

Matt 17:20

Time can tell if I have the mustard seed faith.